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A Playful Approach to the Crisis Our Children Manage Everyday

admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:22:28 +0000

….Steve Gross, his staff at Life Is Good Playmakers, and the current army of Playmakers all would agree. Sometimes it boils down to an individual’s strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes a child struggles with play because of their physical ability and sometimes that interference is grounded in the invisible confines of the mind or emotional world.
Children who play learn about themselves, others, and their surrounding world. Children who do not play, in the traditional sense, learn as well. The questions we need to ask, “What are we teaching our children and are we reaching them at their developmental level?” If not, why not?
What are the results of children’s’ decreased opportunities to connect with each other through play?
Activity: Think about your earliest memories of playing as a child? Could a child today engage in that (or similar) type of activity? As Rod Stewart sang in Ooh La La, “I wish I knew then, what I know now,” could also be true – maybe you didn’t like what those games taught you. I know a few of those memories like jumping off the railroad bridge into the channel, throwing blocks, running forward while looking backward. We all have them. Think of the good ones that you really miss. What are they? Did you feel more connected to classmates then?
As an adult, do you ask yourself – what is going on? Could it be the lack of opportunities to play?
Raising children who are allowed and encouraged to play will have significant impact on the number of bullying incidents and negative impact victims feel when bullied. Children who bully others typically were not taught empathy, which means bullies, were literally not taught to feel with others. They may have felt the same feelings as their victims, yet they are not empathizing and connecting. If they were empathizing with their victims, wouldn’t they stop bullying others?
I believe bullying is a product of two things – not being connected to peers and not getting what they need (emotionally) during formative years. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a witch hunt. This is to highlight the fact that play as an intervention is designed to counteract the causes of isolation and disconnect we are witnessing as a society.
Play encourages joy, creativity, social engagement, and internal control (empowerment). When we as adults are willing to encourage play among children by playfully engaging with children and be less controlling of the outcomes I believe we will see less negative outcomes in the area of the academic and social aspects of our society. Yes, play also encourages greater learning in the classroom. Think back to a time when you were scared or uncomfortable in your own classroom. Could you focus on the teacher? Did you really care about the curriculum if you were worried about something that happened at lunch, recess, or on the bus? Thoughtfully and playfully engaging children in physical activities that encourage joy, creativity, social engagement, and internal control will have exponential impact on our children, our students, us, and our futures.
What have you done to play today?

Lessons Learned, Lessons Taught – You Can Always Pivot

admin — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 11:36:34 +0000

In my PE classes and basketball clinics I learned how to pivot on the court. I am sure I used it a lot as I was one of the smallest, if not the smallest, on the court. I remember that I needed to pivot when the direction I was dribbling got shut down by a defender. By pivoting with my head up I was able to turn, look for help from a teammate, and keep moving toward the goal. I have not used that lesson for a long time. Until now.

This summer I met Pam Myrick-Mottley, an early childhood specialist at Mississippi State University(MSU), Life Is Good Playmaker Trainer, and overall amazing person. Her first lesson was, “Brian you can always pivot.” You need to know that Pam’s specialty is working child care providers and children who have suffered from trauma. These are kiddos who did not choose what life dealt them and she teaches coping skills through play, based on the belief that no matter what life hands you (or you walk into)you can always pivot.

Think about that for a moment. I think about that a lot! I find myself demonstrating a pivot move in basketball to my children and as I see them sliding into a tantrum I can be heard playing the roll of coach – “PIVOT!!”

As an organization we were prepared to go surfing in Narragansett with children and adults with disabilities. Surfers were registered and excited. United States Coast Guard Academy and friends were commited as volunteers, Narragansett Surf Shop and 7 Ply Skate and Surf Shop were donating use of surf boards and instructors, food was ordered, and beach permit was all set. In comes Katia and the surf day was cancelled due to unpredictable swells and strong riptides. We were forced to pivot. 8:30 rolls around and I receive a message from a family “The weather looks great, can’t wait to see you.” OH NO! One family showed up for a great morning and I was still over an hour away with the event cancelled.

This family clearly knows basketball and not only pivoted but also squeezed the lemons they were given and create an awesome experience for their son. I had a volunteer who was going to the beach with her long board regardless of the event and connected with this family for the morning. Mom’s text that afternoon brought tears to my eyes – “Thank you for helping us turn lemons into lemonade today. Jack had a BLAST!”

I think I am ready to open a lemonade stand called “Pivot Place”, right next to a basketball court. Whatever it takes to remind yourself that as long as you are still breathing you can pivot and change your circumstances by keeping your head up and focusing on what you want out of life. If doors are being shut keep pivoting and looking for that teammate who can help you reach your goal.

Pivot.

Keep Your Head Up.

Reach That Goal.

PS: You may also want to squeeze a cold glass of lemonade from the lemons you catch along the way as your reward for a job well done.

Feel Free to follow our other blog entitled on Patch.com – Synergy for Success – supporting those with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges.

Life’s Rewards

admin — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 15:37:00 +0000

The emails, conversations, and stories I hear and read never cease to amaze me – and I am not talking about what we see on the news. Has anyone ever been asked, “Tell me about your child?” Whenever I ask that question the words I read are beautiful descriptions of children with talents, humor, sweetness, compassion, and inquisitiveness. These descriptions are biter sweet for me because I also hear descriptions by these childrens’ teachers. You know what?

There are similarities! Now mind you teachers and administrators have a different job that means they also see those negative behaviors and they become part of the reports families hear at the family meetings. The question becomes, “What are we focused on? Yet in the end, the child is the focus and our jobs as professionals and parents are to help our children maximize their potential. All of our teachers and support staff are diligent when it comes to maintaining that focus – POTENTIAL, HIGH EXPECTATIONS, and INCREASING POSITIVE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN PEERS AND ADULTS.

Now don’t get me wrong I know kids can be frustrating and the negative behaviors bring tears to the eyes of loved ones. Yet I also realize that adults and children can look at and respond to the socially inappropriate behaviors, well, inappropriately themselves. Children bully those they don’t understand. Adults look at behaviors and react versus responding and trying to discover what caused the behavior. I have seen a functionally nonverbal child get picked on in a cafeteria, ignore the tormentors, get laughed at more, and then get louder and louder, which gained the attention of the adult in charge. What do you think those other kids did? Told the adult they didn’t know why their classmate was acting that way. Bittersweet for me to have watched that from a distance and be able to teach both the tormented and tormentors about what was wrong with their behavior.

Look for the positives and potential in everyone you meet. Look for the positives in everyone you love. Look for your child’s talent. Find an adult who can foster that talent and watch the world open up to you and your child. If there is someone in your life who expects less, manage that relationship in a way that protects both your self respect and the other person’s. When you maintain focus on the reason your school professionals chose the careers they did and your child’s gifts you are helping your child reach their potential, even if they would rather be left alone with a computer or TV. Expect greatness and maybe even a GOLD medal!
From the mountains to the surf, everyone can excel.
Check out my guy getting a gold (mind you he has already won cross country matches)

I wonder if we won’t help someone find a new talent this summer when we surf?

Prana, Kime, Motivation, Connectivity

admin — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 21:10:40 +0000

As I reflect on the many facets of our work with both Synergy Center and Sensations Charitable Foundation a number of people share their backgrounds with me I am amazed at how those who are “connected” truly have similar beliefs and focus ‘zones’. Last night I had a nice conversation with a friend about the kids we serve. We were talking about life force and how the children in our programs are typical kids with a lot of filters (cognitive, sensory, physical, emotional, etc.). It is that life force that means that we have to concentrate on in order to maintain high expectations. IF we only focused on the behavior we see or the physical impairments or the processing difficulty than the expectations would be hindered. I believe that it is those diagnoses that lay out a road map for us to begin supporting children and their families. Yet I think once we are on that road we need to quickly make a connection with their prana to let that child or youth or adult know we ‘get’ them and we support them while at the same time pushing them to be more and do more than they may want to do. An example of this is when a child on the spectrum might act out because they cannot process what is happening or communicate their needs appropriately. It is our job to work through those behaviors, yet also teach that their are other means to meeting your needs than hitting, biting, screaming, etc.

When I did some reading about Prana I saw another word for Prana was Ki, which brought me back to a lesson I learned from another friend about kime. The way we must approach anything important to our survival. Decisiveness! Action! Do you think we can be successful in reaching children without being supportive, maintaining high expectations, and pushing through the troubling behaviors our children show us when they are struggling? I don’t and that is our motivation to work as we do, find people who share our passion, and continue pushing forward to be the best we can in making a positive impact on the lives of those families who reach out to us.

As I close this thought chain for the day I want to reach out to you and ask that you focus on the individual on the other side of the behavior, emotional outburst, and physical deficiency. Look at them as potential greatness and work to connect to increase your positive impact in their lives.

PS: To my friends and other professionals who are more knowledgeable about the concepts of Kime and Prana – - I apologize if I misquoted or misheard your lesson. My understanding led me here today and has given me a simplified approach to doing what I do and living the way I live.

Thinking About Summer

admin — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 21:55:59 +0000

I can’t help but get excited about summer. There are a number of reasons (cold and snow are not one of them!). As we are preparing for a Sensational Summer I was sent an article by a friend and memories of childhood summers came rushing back.

Time for a test/scenario to trigger your own memories! Think back to when you were just learning to swim, as you get more comfortable (because you are in the shallow end) you get tired and try to stand. Only to find that you have waded or doggie paddled an inch or so over your head. What did you think? What do you remember about that experience? How did you get through it?

How is your heart rate? In my case I will never forget the feeling I had swimming with a friend (college days)at Misquamicut RI. We were bouncing around in the waves and got caught up in the riptide. As we were trying to ride the whitewater to safety I remember keeping calm because my friend, a stronger swimmer, was behind me. Then a wave crashed over us, when I recover I see that he is in front, between me and the beach. Well, obviously we reached shore and almost kissed the sand. I went over to the lifeguard instantly and strongly asked if they saw us out there. Their response, “I saw you and thought you were young guys and fine.” We didn’t feel fine at the time!

How many times do we look at people and make the judgment that they are are fine?
How many times have we put ourselves or loved ones into situations that seemed safe, only to realize we were wrong?
Miscalculations can lead to dangerous situations. Miscommunication can lead to someone being hurt mentally or emotionally. Misinterpretations based on appearance – ask a salesman how smart that is?

Dan Coulter has a wonderful blog, that I will be referencing quite often, that highlights a memory of swimming, living with Asperger Syndrome, and being a parent (or caregiver) of some diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.
Throw an inexperienced swimmer in the deep end or teach in the shallows to support the basics for survival. I believe that by teaching the basics in the pool can teach a person to succeed and give confidence to swim into the deep end. Isn’t that empowering?! As Dan said, children, youth, and adults with autism (and Asperger Syndrome)are already in the pool.

Passion

admin — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 12:28:12 +0000

Seriously, it is important and we want to know. What are you passionate about? Start the comments below or answer on facebook, people get empowered by other stories.

Kate and I are passionate about providing programs and services to families with social, emotional, and behavioral needs. Our experience in schools gives us the knowledge and background to create effective programs and our passion pushes us to be creative and excel at what we do – create, conduct, and support effective programs and services.

As we turn the corner into 2011 our favorite question to ponder has been,

“What can you do for me?”

We confidently respond with a number of unique social opportunities and programs. We base our approach on research and rely on input from families and schools for maximum impact for each youth and child.

Our programs are different because:

* Encompass the whole child in the planning process
* Lead by professionals in the education field
* Taught in the community
* Fun
* Appropriate for all children

It may sound passé but it is vitally important to GET CONNECTED, experience the passion and watch the plan unfold as we make our mark.

Check out our Programs page as it has been updated for February and March.

Passionately,

Brian

The Force of Mother Nature – Flexibility

admin — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 04:15:09 +0000

Clearly this winter is about flexibility one of the areas I pride myself on and, to be honest, is a bit harder for me now as a father and new business owner. I just had a good laugh when I thought about flexibility and remembered a time when someone told me flexible people have flexible thumbs.

For some reason I searched online (made Sensations Charitable Foundation two cents through the IGive search engine) and learned that there is a component of palm reading that talks about flexible versus stiff thumb joints. Yeah, yeah I know that begins to get into an area and belief for some people that I don’t want this to turn into. I am just saying that my thumb joint supports what I try and be, and how I try and live. Hint: My thumb can bend and be parallel to the floor.

I also believe somewhere out there, the lesson of the winter is flexibility. With the variety of appointments and schedules your families endure it is important to remember to be personally flexible. I strongly believe that we need to give our children set schedules and routines. Yet, when the tempers flare out of apparently no where, the puke hits the floor because your child couldn’t get to the bathroom, or mother nature dumps 6-24 inches of snow in a 12 hour period – YOU BETTER BE FLEXIBLE! Chances are if you don’t bend with the flow than you are increasing the stress. Rather than calming the house down you are the one, unwittingly, prolonging the tantrums or causing new ones.

By being flexible you are able to stay connected with your loved ones, respond to disagreements versus reacting, and are more likely to enjoy life and play. (Shameless plug) It is this premise upon which we focus the business philosophy of Synergy – Flexibilty, Connect, Play. We have to be flexible to meet the needs of our families and the children we support. We make every attempt to connect, as fast as possible, with children, youth, and families so we gain a better understanding and therefore increase our impact. Finally, and just as importantly, we love to play. We have found that when kids play, they laugh, and when they laugh, they are more likely to listen, follow directions, and learn.

So, as the next storm rolls in, remember to take a deep breath, do an internal checkup on your stress level, and respond with love and willingness to laugh and play. How long has it been since you threw a snowball or slid down that big hill?

Something New in Life with Synergy and Smartphones

admin — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 02:43:40 +0000

This month has started with a *BANG* – literally in my head, on the phones, and in my inbox. In 2010, Synergy Center focused on creating amazing programs and opportunities for families who manage social, emotional, and behavioral needs.

We now have over ten programs to offer and through Sensations Charitable Foundation, Inc. we were able to conduct social opportunities for whole families and sibling support groups. Our efforts have been recognized by several key partners in the community and we look to double that in number and variety during 2011. Hence, our carefully selected company name and mission….. Connecting people, organizations, and companies to increase our effectiveness for those who struggle meeting those who can help them and maintaining important relationships because of their disabilities – that is Synergy Center.

Several key questions have been coming up lately -

1. Who are these people?

2. What can they do for me?

3. What’s next?

I am thrilled to meet with people and talk about what we have done, what we can do in the very near future, and what we want to do as a company.

Many times my response is – “Let’s Connect.” or “Let’s Play.” So, if you have questions like those above, give us a call or write an email.

Kate and I have our CV’s available for insight into what we have done. You need to meet us to find out who we are.

We have a positive impact on the lives of those families who come to us for programs, services, or resources. This impact in turn affects others.

What is next, you ask? Well, to answer that I offer you our latest opportunity to connect and stay connected through your smartphone.

Shoot, click, and stay connected everyday!

Story of the Starfish, a science lesson for everyone to consider

admin — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 18:46:02 +0000

When I do things for Synergy Center I try to maintain focus on the story of the starfish, yet I also enjoy learning about how adaptive the “Sea Star” is to its environment and how it adapts to adversity, like losing a ray (the formal name for their arms). Did you know that a sea star can turn their stomachs inside out and project it outside their body to begin digesting food larger than its mouth? I also knew that when a sea star lost a ray it could grow one back in its place. Yet, I also read that a sea star can regenerate when a portion of its central disk is attached to a severed ray – essentially a whole new star from one ray. How does this apply to me?

Adaptation – the key for survival and success. I want you to take a moment and focus on yourself and then on your child who has a disability. How have you adapted to the life changes that challenges bring when your child struggles with a disability that interferes with their social, emotional, and behavioral well being? What do you do to help your family succeed with the challenges?

Now consider your child and what they must manage within themselves to succeed with challenges placed before them. The determination and innate ability to learn new skills, manage disappointments, manage sensory issues, and the fact that they process the world around them differently. What does your child do to succeed. Write it down, focus on those strengths, and then draw a sea star.

When a child is born our worlds are turned upside down, on a daily basis. I have found that upside down can provide a good view, a different view, but a good view of the world. No matter what turmoil you may have in your family due to struggles with schools, sibling fights, your kids doing foolish things, difficult behaviors due to a disability, health challenges – anything that comes your way each day, like the sea star we are all created to adapt and succeed. You may not recreate yourself from a severed arm, but you will muster the strength necessary to succeed if you continue to focus on the positives, accept support from friends, family, and professionals around you, and keep your eye (or in the case of the sea star – five eyes) on the place you and your family need to be to “BE”. Whatever “BE” may be…..

“Lets walk arm, in arm, in arm, in arm, in arm” for a wonderful 2011 and beyond for you, your family, and friends.

Twenty Eleven – Trouble With Resolutions or Resolutions about Troubles?!

admin — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 00:07:06 +0000

I discovered this past week that the start of a new year brings with it a lot of stress, with the inferences, social pressures, and my own beliefs about 1/1/[insert year here]. People believe that 1/1 is a good time to make promises to self and others; health clubs live for this, cigarette and alcohol vendors cringe in January (I wonder if there is a dip in sales in January), and meanwhile I ask myself (like on Valentines Day and every other Hallmark Holiday)-Why wait until 1/1? Why not NOW? Toward this goal I am making my one and only New Year’s Resolution right now.

I will breathe life back into the blogosphere, with my thoughts on all issues which arise for the families and school districts we serve, as well as different resources I come across in my day, on a more regular basis than every nine months. Cheap I know, but at least I know I will meet this goal.

Facebook has its qualities (Continue to follow us there for quick updates and information). Email has changed with social media and smart phones. LinkedIn is nice. Newsletters are great, yet have started to fall into the junk mail category from the snail mail world.

Also, through our newsletters I noticed a number of people are watching what we are doing yet have not made the plunge for a number of reasons. I hope through the blog I am able to reach those who like what we are doing enough to watch, yet have not called or shown up at one of our classes or social opportunities. We have a number of wonderful partners and the creative juices just keep flowing with ideas for new and unique products and services.

I like to process what I hear, see, read, and experience and believe the blog is the place to do that.

Vive Synergy Blog!

I am VERY EXCITED for the future.

Before closing for the night I refer to a friends Facebook post, which I am still ruminating on…..and share it here for you to consider:

May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. ;o)

For the sake of this first post of 2011, I will disagree with my friend and leave you with this, “See you here tomorrow, I will with either be talking Synergy Symbols or some current event that grabs my attention tonight.”

My view of resolutions on a specific calendar date, I agree with Cheryl – I hope the troubles you may be experiencing today are short lived and you join me in my excitement for the future.